The Invisible Weight of Survival
They say time heals all wounds, but for those of us injured by botulinum toxin , time is a complicated thing. This month marks three years since my life was forcibly rerouted. Three years since a "routine" 40-unit injection on January 4th turned into a systemic collapse on January 17th. While the world sees me as "recovered," the reality is that I am living in a different body now. I am navigating a world that feels much smaller and more fragile than it did before. The most frustrating part of the three-year mark isn't just the physical symptoms—though the trouble swallowing and the sudden waves of head pressure are still very much there. It’s the mental exhaustion. I’ve become a person I don’t fully recognize—someone who has to constantly calculate if I’m safe enough to be alone. The confidence I used to have has been replaced by an intrusive "what if" that follows me from room to room. I find myself becoming more reclusive because out in the world,...